Feel the Magic Camper putting a Christmas tree decoration on a Christmas tree in honour of his Dad.

Ways to Remember Your Loved One This Holiday Season  

The holiday season is traditionally a time for joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, this time of year can be particularly challenging. 

Memories may serve as a constant reminder of a loss, and some families may experience heightened stress and sadness. Feelings of grief may be rekindled as children reminisce about previous memories or as they create new ones.  

There are special ways in which you can remember a loved one during this time and share in connection as a family. The following ways may be helpful: 

1. Create a Memory Corner   

Set up a dedicated space in your home with photos, mementos and items that remind you of your loved one. Encourage family members to contribute their own memories, creating a shared tribute.  

2. Light a Memorial Candle 

Light a candle in memory of your loved one during the holiday gatherings. This simple act can serve as a powerful symbol of remembrance and bring a sense of connection for your family.  

3. Incorporate Traditions   

Incorporate your loved one’s favourite holiday traditions into your celebrations. Whether it is a special recipe, a favourite activity, or a cherished decoration, these elements can serve as a comforting link to your loved one.  

4. Write a Letter   

Write a letter to your loved one expressing your feelings and updating them on your life. You could also encourage family members to write down their favourite holiday season memories of your loved one, creating a beautiful keepsake. 

5. Give Back in Their Name   

Consider making a charitable donation or volunteering in honour of your loved one. This act of kindness not only honours their memory but also contributes positively to the community.  

Here are specific tips for grieving kids: 

1. Open Communication   

Encourage open conversations about feelings during this time. Provide children with a safe space to express their emotions and ask questions, fostering an environment of understanding and support.    

2. Create a Memory Box   

Help children create a memory box filled with items that remind them of their loved one. This tangible collection can serve as a source of comfort during difficult times. Click here for specific instructions for this activity.     

3. Include them in Rituals 

Involve kids in creating and participating in holiday rituals that honour the memory of their loved one. Active participation can help them feel connected and included.

4. Establish New Traditions 

While preserving existing traditions is important, consider establishing new ones together that are specifically designed to celebrate and remember the person who has died. This can provide a sense of continuity and growth.  

Navigating grief during the holiday season is undoubtedly challenging, but finding meaningful ways to remember and honour your loved one can bring a sense of comfort and connection.  

Our community has also shared some ways that they remember their loved one during the holiday season and Christmas time. Click here to download their tips.   

If you need help guiding your grieving kids through Christmas, click here for tips to prepare grieving kids for the holiday season.  

Also, self-care for parents is important during the holiday season so click here to read our guide to help you.  

Feel the Magic Campers next to their family Christmas tree.

Navigating the Holiday Season: The Increased Responsibilities of Grieving Children

Whilst the holiday season can be a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness for some people, this time of year can also bring a unique set of challenges and emotions for grieving children and their families.  

Dealing with the loss of a loved one increases the complexity of the holiday season, as children may find themselves grappling with increased responsibilities amidst the festivities.  

There are several added burdens that grieving children may feel during the holiday season, however families and communities can support them through this challenging time. Additional challenges can include: 

Emotional Strain 

The holiday season can exacerbate the emotional strain that grieving kids already experience. This time of year often means an increased frequency of family gatherings and traditions, serving as a stark reminder of the absence of a loved one. The real or perceived pressure to maintain a facade of normalcy and participate in festive activities may also contribute to heightened stress and anxiety that children can feel. 

Asking your child what they feel comfortable doing this holiday season is a helpful way to provide them with a sense of psychological safety. By giving your child the autonomy to make decisions around their participation in festive activities, you can decrease the stress and anxiety they might feel during this time. 

Assuming Adults Roles

In the absence of a parent or guardian, grieving children may find themselves taking on roles traditionally held by adults. This could involve helping with meal preparations, managing household chores, or even providing emotional support to other family members. Such responsibilities can be overwhelming and emotionally draining.  

A helpful way to manage this is to assign specific tasks to each family member. Breaking up the responsibilities can be done in a fun and exciting way, such as using visuals and sticker charts. It is also important to accept help from others if it is offered. Some children may also benefit from a family conversation addressing the reality that Christmas may look a bit different this year and it is okay to change traditions or customs.  

Navigating Family Dynamics  

Grieving families often undergo shifts in dynamics as they adapt to the loss. At Christmas, children may feel an increased sense of responsibility to keep the family together or mediate conflicts, adding an extra layer of stress to an already emotionally heightened environment.  

Encourage your child to express their emotions openly and let them know it is okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this time. It is helpful to set realistic expectations and help them manage their expectations around this time of year.  

Maintaining Traditions 

Holidays are often steeped in tradition, and grieving children may feel a keen responsibility to uphold these rituals in memory of their loved one that died. The pressure to continue traditions can be emotionally taxing, as children grapple with the desire to honour the past while coping with the reality of the present. 

Help your child understand that traditions may change, at least temporarily. Support them in being flexible and open to creating new rituals that accommodate your family’s current needs. 

The holiday season can be an emotionally difficult time for grieving children, particularly as they navigate increased responsibilities amidst the festivities. It is crucial for families, friends, and communities to recognise and address these challenges, offering support and understanding.  

By fostering open communication, acknowledging the unique struggles of grieving children, and creating space for both remembrance and healing, we can help them navigate the holiday season with compassion and resilience.  
 

If you need help guiding your grieving kids through Christmas – click here for tips to prepare grieving kids for the holiday season.  

Also, self-care for parents is important during the holiday season  – click here to read our guide to help you. 

A woman and a man walking on a path in a park. A 1-in-20 challenge logo sits next to the left of them. Below the logo is the text "120km in October for the 1-in-20 grieving kids".

1-in-20 Challenge: Taking Steps for Grieving Kids

What is the 1-in-20 Challenge? 

In Australia 1-in-20 children will lose a parent before they reach the age of 18. Every family that is struggling with grief deserves support, and together we can make a difference!  

Walk or run 120km for grieving kids and their families, or start by aiming to raise a goal of $120. Together we can fund camps, research, and build on resources to help grieving kids across Australia.  

By completing the 1-in-20 Challenge not only will you help grieving kids heal, but you and your family can gain from the health and wellbeing benefits of the challenge.  

Benefits of Exercise in Adults and Children: 

  • Improved mood state – Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins. These hormones can help our mood and reduce feelings of stress, anxiety and depression.  
  • Lower levels of stress – Engaging in physical activity can lead to a sense of relaxation and calmness, helping to alleviate stress and tension. 
  • Boost in self-esteem – Exercise can lead to a sense of accomplishment, which can contribute to an improvement in self-esteem and self-confidence. 
  • Improved sleep – Regular physical activity can contribute to better sleep quality for children and adults. 
  • Distraction – Exercise can be a helpful distraction from negative thoughts and ruminations.  
  • Social interaction – Participating in group physical activities can provide children and adults with opportunities to interact with others, develop friendships, and improve their social skills. These interactions can help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation, fostering a sense of belonging.  
  • Emotional regulation – Physical activity provides a constructive outlet for negative feelings. Engaging in physical activity can teach children how to manage their emotions in a healthy way. 
  • Cognitive benefits – Exercise has been shown to enhance cognitive function and brain health. 
Girl walking with a dog on a path next to the beach.
Feel the Magic Camper, Emily, participating in this year’s 1-in-20 Challenge

Interview with Serenity McEwin, Pediatric Occupational Therapist

If you aren’t already inspired to continue to take part, or sign up, one of our incredible Feel the Magic volunteers has provided us with expert knowledge on the benefits of the 1-in-20 Challenge.  

Serenity McEwin is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist supporting children and young people to be as independent as possible with the things they need and want to be doing. Serenity has answered some of our questions about the benefits of the challenge from her professional perspective.  

From your OT perspective, what are the general benefits of exercise? 

  • Increases our physical health, mental health, and quality of life. 
  • Increases neural connections in the brain and enhances communication between both sides of our brain which positively impacts our cognition, ability to learn, our behaviour, and our attention.  
  • Regulates our sensory and nervous systems – movement can be calming or alerting.  
  • Helps to develop the fine and gross motor skills needed for learning, play, and everyday life skills. 
  • Can alleviate sleep-related problems.  

From your OT perspective, what are the benefits of walking and talking for language development?  

Walking and movement wakes our brain up. Neuroscience shows us that movement improves the brains cognitive regulation skills, that is, the ability to focus, think clearly and logically, plan, organise, create and be empathetic. Therefore, we can expect the quality of our conversations during a walk to be greater.  

    A walk and talk is an opportunity for back-and-forth conversation, which activates the part of our brain responsible for language production and processing.  

    During a walk, parents can model and facilitate asking questions, making comments, and expanding on words and ideas.

    Why is the 1-in-20 Challenge beneficial for grieving kids? 

    Research shows us that taking a sideways approach to talking with our kids (conversing while engaged in an activity, where eye contact is optional) helps them to feel more comfortable and relaxed, which leads to more open communication.  

      In terms of walking and talking, exercise releases endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, and positive social connection releases oxytocin, all of which are feel good chemicals that promote feelings of happiness and wellbeing. These feel-good chemicals give us the power to regulate our emotional responses and relieve discomfort.  

      Walking also provides an escape from grief through distraction – and even better if out in nature, which is shown to lower the stress hormone cortisol.  

      Why are family activities beneficial from your perspective? 

      Family group activities help us to feel seen, heard and valued – they increase our sense of connection to our caregivers and/or siblings. The more connected we feel to others, the less likely we will respond with maladaptive behaviours when times get tough, and the more likely we are to bounce back after hardship.  

        Connection also supports us to develop social skills so that we can increase connections outside of our family, a factor which is strongly linked to wellbeing. 

        Father and daughter smiling
        Emily and her Dad, Geoff

        Benefits of exercising as a family: 

        One of the greatest benefits of this challenge is the social interaction that it facilitates for grieving families. Whether you undertake this challenge as a family, with friends, or with other grieving families in the Feel the Magic community, exercising with others can have numerous benefits that extend beyond our physical health.  

        Some of the benefits of exercising as a family include: 

        • Quality time – Exercising together allows for dedicated quality time, away from screens and daily distractions. 
        • Role modelling – A parent/guardian who prioritises exercise sets a positive example for children. 
        • Positive memories – Shared physical activities can create positive associations with exercise for children. 
        • Teamwork and cooperation – Exercising as a family can foster stronger family bonds through teamwork and cooperation.  
        • Communication – Exercising together provides opportunities for open communication, allowing family members to share thoughts and connect.  
        • Social interaction – Exercising with others enhances interpersonal skills and strengthens relationships. 

        Now that you know the benefits of participating in the 1-in-20 Challenge, it’s not too late to join if you haven’t signed up yet. Here is how you can take part: 

        1. Set up your profile as an individual or as a team and invite others to participate 
        1. Tell your colleagues, family and friends and ask for donations 
        1. Feel good knowing every step you take will change the lives of grieving kids 

        Check out Serenity’s pages: 

        facebook.com/firstplaythengrow 
        instagram.com/firstplaythengrow 

        Top tips to cope with Father's Day

        Top tips to cope with Father’s Day

        Father’s Day can be a difficult day for many children grieving the death of their dad or a significant male in their life.

        Many people struggle to know what to say to a grieving child. It is through the fear of saying the wrong thing, they often say nothing at all, leaving the child feeling even more isolated and alone.

        You may be wondering what the best way is to support grieving children during difficult times. The following tips may be useful this Father’s Day:

        1. Plan ahead

        A reminder that Father’s Day is coming up is a helpful way to begin the conversation around what they want to do for it.

        It is important to not assume you know what they will want. What they did last year might be exactly what they want to do again – or they might want to do something completely different. Similarly, some families may like to revisit old traditions, whereas others may like to invent something new for Father’s Day.

        • Provide Comfort

        By simply taking the time to let a grieving child know that you are there and thinking of them, shows them that they are not alone this Father’s Day.

        Grieving children often feel isolated from their friends and community. Others around them may not have experienced bereavement and loss like they have. They can feel detached and alone, especially on significant days like Father’s Day.

        • Consider different ways to express their feelings

        If children don’t want to talk about their grief verbally, conversation and connection can be through drawing, craft, dance, poetry, play, images, and text messages.

        Offer your child to write in a journal throughout the day. You might also want to offer your child a forum to connect with other family or friends who knew the loved one and share their memories of them

        • Listen

        Father’s Day is an occasion that can bring powerful feelings to the surface. Some of these feelings might be isolation, anger, jealousy, and sadness. Some grieving kids might want to talk about their feelings, whilst others might try to express how they’re feeling through their behaviour.

        It is important to listen to them and show them that what they are feeling is valid and completely normal. You might want to give your child ‘permission’ to not be okay, freeing them from expectations. Click here to read our blog on Managing Big Feelings this Father’s Day for more tips.

         We asked grieving kids from our Feel the Magic community to share what they would like their friends and family to say to them on Father’s Day. Here is what they said.

        If you are supporting a bereaved child or know one, there is help available and a community that understands what you are going through.

        Our mission at Feel the Magic is to ensure grieving kids, families, and their friends have the support and resources to help them feel and heal through their grief.

        Our Grief Resource Hub has guides, activities, books, videos, and TED talks you may find helpful.

        We have a range of face-to-face and virtual camps, so we can help grieving kids heal – no matter where they are.

        If you would like to consider a donation this Father’s Day, please click here.

        Father Day with Coby

        “Father’s Day is a good day to me, I get to focus on Dad that day. Having him on my mind makes me feel better. In the lead-up to Father’s Day it can be scary, but on an actual day it’s usually really nice. I can feel him around me. I’m going to remember him by visiting a place in the Mountains we liked to go to. It’s a special place for us. To anyone else who has lost their dad, my advice is to use it as a way to dedicate a whole day to the person you love. Keep them on your mind and do things in memory of them.

        Koby, Camp Magic Camper.

        Two people in dresses standing in front of a blue snow flake screen smiling

        A Magical Night of Gratitude and Generosity

        The 9th Night of Magic Winter Wonderland Gala dinner transported guests into a realm of enchantment while creating a meaningful impact.

        A sincere thanks to everyone there. The atmosphere was incredible and we hope you walked away feeling inspired. We sure did.

        Raising money to send kids to Camp Magic

        Your company and kindness at this extraordinary event raised over $150k for grieving kids and families to attend camps and programs, providing them with support and a community during their grief journey.

        We are still open for donations if you’d like to help us edge closer to our goal of raising $225,000.

        If you are inspired to help, please click on the link and donate, or share with others who could also support Feel the Magic – great timing with tax time just around the corner! All donations over $2 are tax-deductible.

        This thank you message is from some of our Campers.

        Congratulations to our lucky winners:

        1st Prize: Luke Loseby

        2nd Prize: Matthew Kelly

        3rd Prize: Pat Eagleton

        4th Prize: Arwel Roberts

        From all of us at Feel the Magic, and the many families we support, we say a huge heartfelt thank you to everyone at Night of Magic – our Masters of Ceremonies Dimity Clancy and Hayley Kime, event partners, donors, volunteers and supporters for helping us do what we do to serve our community.

        View the photo gallery here.

        Thank you to all involved in Night of Magic

        Our Winter Wonderland Night of Magic gala dinner would not be possible without the support of our sponsors and partners. Thank you to Shaw and Partners Financial Services, WIM Resources, Alceon, ForteIS, Metway Developments, Metro Solutions, Southern Steel, Alpin, Kelly & Partners Chartered Accountants, Acumen Strata, St George Bank, Doltone House, Batch Brewing Co, Southtrade International, From Sunday and Icons of Sport.

        Thank you to those who generously donated the many auction and raffle prizes. From unique experiences to getaways, gift packs, sporting memorabilia, and much more, we had a raft of amazing items and prizes on offer during the evening.

        To our amazing and giving volunteers, we are so incredibly grateful for your support at Night of Magic, at every Camp and fundraising event. You continue to inspire us. You all took time out of your day and evening to make our Winter Wonderland possible. A heartfelt thank you. Feel the Magic would not be possible without you.

        A special thank you goes to our Night of Magic committee for their time and energy to help make the night a success. Thank you, Adam Blatch, Kristy Thomas, Sean Preece, Kevin Smaller, Felicity Thomas, Harriet Gerrard, Tricia Gerigk and Sarah Askew.

        We acknowledge our Mission Partner the Saunders Family Foundation for their continued support for Feel the Magic. From the very beginning, their support has funded numerous Camp Magic programs and fundraising events. Monica and Betty have continued the proud Saunders family legacy of supporting those in need.

        We could not be more grateful and appreciative of their continued and impactful support. Thank you for your belief and support in the Feel the Magic vision.

        three women and a boy sitting around a table. One lady is smiling the boy is resting is head in his hands on the table

        A Guide for Parents with Grieving Children

        Parenting children through the hard time following the death of a loved one isn’t easy, and there’s no one approach to help your children heal.

        In the days, months, and years following your loved one’s death, your children will experience a range of emotions as they grieve. Here you will find a guide to help your children process these emotions in a healthy way.

        Create Open Communication Between You and Your Children

        Death is difficult to process for both children and adults, which is why we often struggle to talk about it openly. Although, starting these conversations with your children is a very important step in their path to healing.

        Talking is a great way to work through complex emotions. Every child is different so you should expect each of your children to have different reactions to the loss of a loved one. They may not want to open up to you immediately and that’s okay.

        The best thing you can do is to create an environment in which they know they can talk to you as soon as they feel ready. Here are some things you can do to help your children feel safe:

        • Be honest: When talking about death with your children, avoid euphemisms and answer any questions your children have about the death honestly. You may think hiding small details will protect your children, but when they find out the truth, there is a chance you will lose their trust. Being honest with your children will help them be honest with you.
        • Be open: Telling your children about how you’re feeling is a great way to start open dialogue about thoughts and feelings. Talking about your own feelings may help your children become aware of, and feel comfortable with theirs.
        • Give comfort: No matter how your children react to the death of their loved one, letting them know that you’re there for them and you love them will comfort them greatly. Offer hugs and handholding so they can be comforted without feeling like they’re being forced to talk.

        Organise Activities To Keep You Connected

        Organising family time is a great way to keep your family connected through your individual experiences with grief. There are many activities you can do together as a family, from movie nights to a bonfire, we have compiled a list of our favourite connection activities along with instructions on how to run them, which you can find here.

        Be Kind to Yourself

        It’s understandable to want to dedicate all of your energy to supporting your children, but you also need to focus on yourself as you’re grieving too. Grief is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting, and to best support yourself and your children you should practice self-care. You can practice self-care by:

        • Making room for yourself: Allow yourself the space and time to grieve by taking time out and allowing others to take on some of your responsibilities.
        • Preparing yourself for others’ reactions: People are often uncomfortable talking about death, so they may become distant or try to comfort you with cliches. These reactions can be hurtful but try to keep in mind that your friends and family are doing the best they can.
        • Connecting with others: Social support is key to emotional well-being, so the best thing you can do for yourself is to connect with your social support system – they will be able to provide you with the understanding and care you need.

        Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

        Although grief can feel isolating, it’s important to understand that you’re not alone – you are surrounded by a community you can lean on for support.

        No matter where you and your child are in your grief journey, reaching out for help is always okay. If you need immediate help or wish to learn more about other grief organisations that can offer you support, we have created a list of other organisations that exist to support people’s mental well-being and grief. You can also join our grief community if you wish to connect with other families who understand what you are going through. 

        At Feel the Magic, we are dedicated to helping grieving kids heal. We have virtual and face-to-face camps designed by clinical psychologists and run by trained professionals to give kids and parents the tools they need to connect with their emotions and each other.

        Our programs encourage healthy grieving and introduce families to a supportive community that understands. For more information or to register your interest in our camps, please contact us.