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Feel the Magic Camper putting a Christmas tree decoration on a Christmas tree in honour of his Dad.

Ways to Remember Your Loved One This Holiday Season

Posted on December 23, 2023 | by Isabella Simantov

The holiday season is traditionally a time for joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, this time of year can be particularly challenging.

Memories may serve as a constant reminder of a loss, and some families may experience heightened stress and sadness. Feelings of grief may be rekindled as children reminisce about previous memories or as they create new ones.

There are special ways in which you can remember a loved one during this time and share in connection as a family. The following ways may be helpful:

1. Create a Memory Corner

Set up a dedicated space in your home with photos, mementos and items that remind you of your loved one. Encourage family members to contribute their own memories, creating a shared tribute.

2. Light a Memorial Candle

Light a candle in memory of your loved one during the holiday gatherings. This simple act can serve as a powerful symbol of remembrance and bring a sense of connection for your family.

3. Incorporate Traditions

Incorporate your loved one’s favourite holiday traditions into your celebrations. Whether it is a special recipe, a favourite activity, or a cherished decoration, these elements can serve as a comforting link to your loved one.

4. Write a Letter

Write a letter to your loved one expressing your feelings and updating them on your life. You could also encourage family members to write down their favourite holiday season memories of your loved one, creating a beautiful keepsake.

5. Give Back in Their Name

Consider making a charitable donation or volunteering in honour of your loved one. This act of kindness not only honours their memory but also contributes positively to the community.

Here are specific tips for grieving kids:

1. Open Communication

Encourage open conversations about feelings during this time. Provide children with a safe space to express their emotions and ask questions, fostering an environment of understanding and support.

2. Create a Memory Box

Help children create a memory box filled with items that remind them of their loved one. This tangible collection can serve as a source of comfort during difficult times. Click here for specific instructions for this activity.

3. Include them in Rituals

Involve kids in creating and participating in holiday rituals that honour the memory of their loved one. Active participation can help them feel connected and included.

4. Establish New Traditions

While preserving existing traditions is important, consider establishing new ones together that are specifically designed to celebrate and remember the person who has died. This can provide a sense of continuity and growth.

Navigating grief during the holiday season is undoubtedly challenging, but finding meaningful ways to remember and honour your loved one can bring a sense of comfort and connection.

Our community has also shared some ways that they remember their loved one during the holiday season and Christmas time. Click here to download their tips.

If you need help guiding your grieving kids through Christmas, click here for tips to prepare grieving kids for the holiday season.

Also, self-care for parents is important during the holiday season so click here to read our guide to help you.

Feel the Magic Campers next to their family Christmas tree.

Navigating the Holiday Season: The Increased Responsibilities of Grieving Children

Posted on December 14, 2023 | by Isabella Simantov

Whilst the holiday season can be a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness for some people, this time of year can also bring a unique set of challenges and emotions for grieving children and their families.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one increases the complexity of the holiday season, as children may find themselves grappling with increased responsibilities amidst the festivities.

There are several added burdens that grieving children may feel during the holiday season, however families and communities can support them through this challenging time. Additional challenges can include:

Emotional Strain

The holiday season can exacerbate the emotional strain that grieving kids already experience. This time of year often means an increased frequency of family gatherings and traditions, serving as a stark reminder of the absence of a loved one. The real or perceived pressure to maintain a facade of normalcy and participate in festive activities may also contribute to heightened stress and anxiety that children can feel.

Asking your child what they feel comfortable doing this holiday season is a helpful way to provide them with a sense of psychological safety. By giving your child the autonomy to make decisions around their participation in festive activities, you can decrease the stress and anxiety they might feel during this time.

Assuming Adults Roles

In the absence of a parent or guardian, grieving children may find themselves taking on roles traditionally held by adults. This could involve helping with meal preparations, managing household chores, or even providing emotional support to other family members. Such responsibilities can be overwhelming and emotionally draining.

A helpful way to manage this is to assign specific tasks to each family member. Breaking up the responsibilities can be done in a fun and exciting way, such as using visuals and sticker charts. It is also important to accept help from others if it is offered. Some children may also benefit from a family conversation addressing the reality that Christmas may look a bit different this year and it is okay to change traditions or customs.

Navigating Family Dynamics

Grieving families often undergo shifts in dynamics as they adapt to the loss. At Christmas, children may feel an increased sense of responsibility to keep the family together or mediate conflicts, adding an extra layer of stress to an already emotionally heightened environment.

Encourage your child to express their emotions openly and let them know it is okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this time. It is helpful to set realistic expectations and help them manage their expectations around this time of year.

Maintaining Traditions

Holidays are often steeped in tradition, and grieving children may feel a keen responsibility to uphold these rituals in memory of their loved one that died. The pressure to continue traditions can be emotionally taxing, as children grapple with the desire to honour the past while coping with the reality of the present.

Help your child understand that traditions may change, at least temporarily. Support them in being flexible and open to creating new rituals that accommodate your family’s current needs.

The holiday season can be an emotionally difficult time for grieving children, particularly as they navigate increased responsibilities amidst the festivities. It is crucial for families, friends, and communities to recognise and address these challenges, offering support and understanding.

By fostering open communication, acknowledging the unique struggles of grieving children, and creating space for both remembrance and healing, we can help them navigate the holiday season with compassion and resilience.

If you need help guiding your grieving kids through Christmas – click here for tips to prepare grieving kids for the holiday season.

Also, self-care for parents is important during the holiday season – click here to read our guide to help you.

1-in-20 Challenge: Taking Steps for Grieving Kids

Posted on October 17, 2023 | by Isabella Simantov

What is the 1-in-20 Challenge?

In Australia 1-in-20 children will lose a parent before they reach the age of 18. Every family that is struggling with grief deserves support, and together we can make a difference!

Walk or run 120km for grieving kids and their families, or start by aiming to raise a goal of $120. Together we can fund camps, research, and build on resources to help grieving kids across Australia.

By completing the 1-in-20 Challenge not only will you help grieving kids heal, but you and your family can gain from the health and wellbeing benefits of the challenge.

Benefits of Exercise in Adults and Children:

Improved mood state – Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins. These hormones can help our mood and reduce feelings of stress, anxiety and depression.
Lower levels of stress – Engaging in physical activity can lead to a sense of relaxation and calmness, helping to alleviate stress and tension.

Boost in self-esteem – Exercise can lead to a sense of accomplishment, which can contribute to an improvement in self-esteem and self-confidence.
Improved sleep – Regular physical activity can contribute to better sleep quality for children and adults.
Distraction – Exercise can be a helpful distraction from negative thoughts and ruminations.
Social interaction – Participating in group physical activities can provide children and adults with opportunities to interact with others, develop friendships, and improve their social skills. These interactions can help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation, fostering a sense of belonging.
Emotional regulation – Physical activity provides a constructive outlet for negative feelings. Engaging in physical activity can teach children how to manage their emotions in a healthy way.

Cognitive benefits – Exercise has been shown to enhance cognitive function and brain health.

Girl walking with a dog on a path next to the beach. — *Feel the Magic Camper, Emily, participating in this year’s 1-in-20 Challenge*

Interview with Serenity McEwin, Pediatric Occupational Therapist

If you aren’t already inspired to continue to take part, or sign up, one of our incredible Feel the Magic volunteers has provided us with expert knowledge on the benefits of the 1-in-20 Challenge.

Serenity McEwin is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist supporting children and young people to be as independent as possible with the things they need and want to be doing. Serenity has answered some of our questions about the benefits of the challenge from her professional perspective.

From your OT perspective, what are the general benefits of exercise?

Increases our physical health, mental health, and quality of life.
Increases neural connections in the brain and enhances communication between both sides of our brain which positively impacts our cognition, ability to learn, our behaviour, and our attention.
Regulates our sensory and nervous systems – movement can be calming or alerting.
Helps to develop the fine and gross motor skills needed for learning, play, and everyday life skills.

Can alleviate sleep-related problems.

From your OT perspective, what are the benefits of walking and talking for language development?

Walking and movement wakes our brain up. Neuroscience shows us that movement improves the brains cognitive regulation skills, that is, the ability to focus, think clearly and logically, plan, organise, create and be empathetic. Therefore, we can expect the quality of our conversations during a walk to be greater.

A walk and talk is an opportunity for back-and-forth conversation, which activates the part of our brain responsible for language production and processing.

During a walk, parents can model and facilitate asking questions, making comments, and expanding on words and ideas.

Why is the 1-in-20 Challenge beneficial for grieving kids?

Research shows us that taking a sideways approach to talking with our kids (conversing while engaged in an activity, where eye contact is optional) helps them to feel more comfortable and relaxed, which leads to more open communication.

In terms of walking and talking, exercise releases endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, and positive social connection releases oxytocin, all of which are feel good chemicals that promote feelings of happiness and wellbeing. These feel-good chemicals give us the power to regulate our emotional responses and relieve discomfort.

Walking also provides an escape from grief through distraction – and even better if out in nature, which is shown to lower the stress hormone cortisol.

Why are family activities beneficial from your perspective?

Family group activities help us to feel seen, heard and valued – they increase our sense of connection to our caregivers and/or siblings. The more connected we feel to others, the less likely we will respond with maladaptive behaviours when times get tough, and the more likely we are to bounce back after hardship.

Connection also supports us to develop social skills so that we can increase connections outside of our family, a factor which is strongly linked to wellbeing.

Father and daughter smiling — *Emily and her Dad, Geoff*

Benefits of exercising as a family:

One of the greatest benefits of this challenge is the social interaction that it facilitates for grieving families. Whether you undertake this challenge as a family, with friends, or with other grieving families in the Feel the Magic community, exercising with others can have numerous benefits that extend beyond our physical health.

Some of the benefits of exercising as a family include:

Quality time – Exercising together allows for dedicated quality time, away from screens and daily distractions.
Role modelling – A parent/guardian who prioritises exercise sets a positive example for children.
Positive memories – Shared physical activities can create positive associations with exercise for children.

Teamwork and cooperation – Exercising as a family can foster stronger family bonds through teamwork and cooperation.
Communication – Exercising together provides opportunities for open communication, allowing family members to share thoughts and connect.
Social interaction – Exercising with others enhances interpersonal skills and strengthens relationships.

Now that you know the benefits of participating in the 1-in-20 Challenge, it’s not too late to join if you haven’t signed up yet. Here is how you can take part:

Set up your profile as an individual or as a team and invite others to participate

Tell your colleagues, family and friends and ask for donations

Feel good knowing every step you take will change the lives of grieving kids

Check out Serenity’s pages:

facebook.com/firstplaythengrow
instagram.com/firstplaythengrow

Top tips to cope with Father’s Day

Posted on August 31, 2023 | by Isabella Simantov

Father’s Day can be a difficult day for many children grieving the death of their dad or a significant male in their life.

Many people struggle to know what to say to a grieving child. It is through the fear of saying the wrong thing, they often say nothing at all, leaving the child feeling even more isolated and alone.

You may be wondering what the best way is to support grieving children during difficult times. The following tips may be useful this Father’s Day:

Plan ahead

A reminder that Father’s Day is coming up is a helpful way to begin the conversation around what they want to do for it.

It is important to not assume you know what they will want. What they did last year might be exactly what they want to do again – or they might want to do something completely different. Similarly, some families may like to revisit old traditions, whereas others may like to invent something new for Father’s Day.

Provide Comfort

By simply taking the time to let a grieving child know that you are there and thinking of them, shows them that they are not alone this Father’s Day.

Grieving children often feel isolated from their friends and community. Others around them may not have experienced bereavement and loss like they have. They can feel detached and alone, especially on significant days like Father’s Day.

Consider different ways to express their feelings

If children don’t want to talk about their grief verbally, conversation and connection can be through drawing, craft, dance, poetry, play, images, and text messages.

Offer your child to write in a journal throughout the day. You might also want to offer your child a forum to connect with other family or friends who knew the loved one and share their memories of them

Listen

Father’s Day is an occasion that can bring powerful feelings to the surface. Some of these feelings might be isolation, anger, jealousy, and sadness. Some grieving kids might want to talk about their feelings, whilst others might try to express how they’re feeling through their behaviour.

It is important to listen to them and show them that what they are feeling is valid and completely normal. You might want to give your child ‘permission’ to not be okay, freeing them from expectations. Click here to read our blog on Managing Big Feelings this Father’s Day for more tips.

We asked grieving kids from our Feel the Magic community to share what they would like their friends and family to say to them on Father’s Day. Here is what they said.

If you are supporting a bereaved child or know one, there is help available and a community that understands what you are going through.

Our mission at Feel the Magic is to ensure grieving kids, families, and their friends have the support and resources to help them feel and heal through their grief.

Our Grief Resource Hub has guides, activities, books, videos, and TED talks you may find helpful.

We have a range of face-to-face and virtual camps, so we can help grieving kids heal – no matter where they are.

If you would like to consider a donation this Father’s Day, please click here.

“Father’s Day is a good day to me, I get to focus on Dad that day. Having him on my mind makes me feel better. In the lead-up to Father’s Day it can be scary, but on an actual day it’s usually really nice. I can feel him around me. I’m going to remember him by visiting a place in the Mountains we liked to go to. It’s a special place for us. To anyone else who has lost their dad, my advice is to use it as a way to dedicate a whole day to the person you love. Keep them on your mind and do things in memory of them.”

Koby, Camp Magic Camper.

7 Helpful Activities for Grieving Children and Teenagers

Posted on March 30, 2023 | by Isabella Simantov

Coping with grief following the death of a loved one is particularly challenging and often confusing for children and teenagers.

Grieving children may feel numb and angry at the same time, while also dealing with both excess energy and exhaustion.

No two children or teens react to grief in the same way, but there are a variety of coping strategies, resources and activities to support children through their grief journey.

Activities may also be useful when supporting children and teens through anniversaries and significant events relating to a family member’s death.

My Tangled Ball of Grief

A helpful grief activity for children is to create their own tangled ball of grief art. All you need is paper and either markers, crayons or coloured pencils.

Your child can create a key and then choose a different colour to represent each different emotion to then draw their own tangled ball of grief.

You can also use this art activity to talk with your child about what colours are most prominent, and why.

Six hand drawn hearts with white background

Thankful Hearts

Print this page and your child writes what they are thankful for on each heart. Younger children can draw what they are thankful for. Cut out the hearts and place them on the refrigerator, put them in a bowl, or keep them in your pockets. Read them together each morning as you begin your day. This activity is helpful for grieving children as it builds gratitude and appreciation.

Memory Box

A meaningful activity for grieving kids is to create a memory box.

You can use a shoebox or another box, decorate it and fill it with memorable items such as cards, drawings, personal items and photographs.

Your child may want to continue adding memories to the box as time goes by.

This is a great way to support children through the grief process by dedicating some time to fondly remember the person who has died.

Cardboard box with cardboard tube poking out of the top. On the front of the box are the words 'LET IT OUT!' written on the front.

Scream Box

When kids of any age are going through the grieving process, they will experience a range of emotions, including anger and frustration. Sometimes instead of wanting to talk, they may just feel like screaming.

This can be appealing to children and easily made with things you’ll likely have around the house.

Using an empty box, such as a cereal box, fill it with crumpled paper (e.g., paper towel, newspapers) and close the top of the box.

Using a paper towel tube, mark a circle on the top of the box and then cut out the hole.

Tape the paper towel tube to the hole and decorate the box. When you’re ready, scream into the box!

A small glass jar filled with different pieces of folded coloured paper

Jar of Memories

A meaningful activity for grieving children is to create a jar of happy memories.

Together with your child, write down your favourite memories of the special person who died.

Place the memories notes in a jar. Randomly take a memory out of the jar to remember the person.

It can also be helpful to read the memories out loud together.

Acrostic Poem

When a child has lost a family member, a healthy way for them to grieve and manage their emotions is to use creativity and art.

By taking the name of their loved one who died, children are encouraged to reflect on the positive qualities of their loved one.

Write down the person’s name vertically on the left side of a piece of paper.
Write descriptive words using the first letter of the word.
Encourage children to be creative and use colours, glitter and other crafts.

A photo taken from above of someone creating beaded bracelets

Memory Bracelet

A meaningful activity for grieving children and teens is to create a memory bracelet to represent their loved one.

Using objects like beads and jewellery can be a good way for a child to tell a story about their loved one.

It is also something they can wear when they are missing their loved one. Different colours could represent different emotions, or memories, or anything else they wish to convey.

For more information about the bereavement programs, grief activities and support we offer to help grieving kids heal, click here.

Connection Activities for Grieving Kids and Families

Parent and Guardian Grief Resources

Adult and child sitting on the floor talking

A Guide on How to Teach Children About Death

Posted on March 17, 2023 | by Isabella Simantov

Teaching children about death requires honesty and simple, age-appropriate information.

Understanding your child’s knowledge and comprehension of death at different developmental stages is helpful when supporting your child through their grief.

Understanding death at different ages

Preschool-aged children mostly understand death as temporary and reversible. Children between the ages of five and nine begin to understand that all living things eventually die, however, they tend not to relate death to themselves.

Children at around the age of nine through to adolescence begin to fully understand that death is irreversible, and they too will die one day.

Camper at Camp Magic learning grief strategies through activities

Campers at Camp Magic exploring their feelings

6 Ways to Teach Your Child about Death

Take things slowly

The first step when teaching a child about death is to have a firm grasp of their cognitive and emotional understanding of death. Use this information to guide you, as well as patience and persistence.

Children process death gradually over time. Don’t sit them down once, overwhelm them with information and expect them to internalise it all immediately.

Over a certain period, expect your child to ask various questions. Answer them consistently. As painful as it is, answer them honestly because it will help them start to grasp the finality of death.

Be honest and clear

Use simple, clear and direct words when teaching a child about death. It is also important to pause and give your child a moment to take in your words. Try to avoid euphemisms like, ‘She’s in a better place,’ because they can be scary and confusing for children.

Use the word ‘death’ to avoid confusion. You could say “Your dad died. When people die their body stops working and you won’t be able to see them again”. If your child responds by asking whether the person’s body can be fixed, say “when a body stops working, it can never start again”. Click here to read the blog ‘What to Say to a Child When a Parent Dies’.

Build Emotional Literacy

By consistently labelling and modelling your own emotions, you are acting as an emotional role model for a child. Labelling some of your own feelings will make it easier for a child to share theirs.

Another way to build emotional literacy is to use “feelings cards” or illustrations to introduce emotion vocabulary to children. Asking a child to describe what they are feeling is an important part of developing emotional literacy. If a child sees you cry, explain what you are feeling and why. An important part of teaching children about death is to show them that it is acceptable to cry and grieve.

Explaining death and the body

Consider your child’s age and maturity when helping them understand the physical aspect of death. Begin this part of the conversation by making sure the child understands that the body of the person who died does not work anymore and will never work again.

Depending on your spiritual beliefs, you can also talk about what you and your family believe happens after death. An important part of teaching children about death is to try and make death a part of normal conversations with children.

Explaining funerals

An important part of teaching children about death is explaining funerals and memorial services. Clear descriptions of what will happen (e.g., religious symbols, casket, black clothing etc.) are helpful as children thrive on knowing what to expect. Remember, you don’t have to talk about everything at once.

Explain the service in age-appropriate terms to help alleviate some of the anxiety that comes from not knowing what to expect. Let children know that they may feel a wide range of feelings as well, or they may not feel anything at all. Explain that sometimes our feelings come weeks or even months later.

Children try to make sense of death by asking questions

Teaching children about death often comes with questions about their own mortality and the death of others close to them. It is important to teach your child that some people only die when they are very old or very sick, but we will all die one day.

Children may also wonder what happens when you die and how you answer this question depends on your personal or spiritual beliefs. Some children may find comfort in having something to focus on when thinking about a person who died, for example “when we see a star in the sky, we can think about Mum and how much she loved us”. However, avoid direct euphemisms which can confuse children (such as saying the stars in the sky are mum).

For more support on how to teach children about death, read our guide How to teach children about death.

If your family has experienced the death of a loved one, you and your child need to know that you are not alone. Feel the Magic support families through the difficult period following a death, and support children as they grieve the death of a loved one. Click here to find out more about our bereavement programs.

What to Expect When Children Grieve

Overcoming the Isolation of Grief: 7 to 9 years

Overcoming the Isolation of Grief: 10 to 13 years

Overcoming the Isolation of Grief: 14 to 17 years

Tag: Feel the Magic